It was just a few weeks after Id finished taking meth (and whatever pills I could get my hands on at the time)
I was standing at my kitchen sink, and I had dishes to do
I couldn’t stand for long periods, without needing to lie down. recovery places talk about ‘one day at a time’. at that point, I was doing life ‘minute by minute’.
I’d walk through my house, measuring out in my mind, the next few metres, pep talking myself to walk to my next ‘goal post’ (a few metres away).. just to get myself enough energy to get to my bedroom
Now, onto my spoon story
I was standing there, leaning on the bench for support
My one goal… “do the damn dishes”
The task seemed overwhelming
The dishes looked like Mount Everest
The tears were streaming down my face, and to relieve the feeling of gravity hitting my body, I lay down on the 1970’s yellow n brown flooring next to the sink
How was I going to do this?
How was I going to ever get better?
COULD I even get better?
Was THIS my life?
I can’t even do the damn dishes!
How the hell am I gonna do life?
‘Give me something’ I whispered
‘Just do one spoon’ was the reply
What? one spoon
And so. I stood up. leaned on the bench. and did ‘one spoon’
And then I laid back down on the kitchen floor, to steady myself
For the next, however long it took, I stood up, did another spoon, or dish, or fork, or cup, before lying back down
At times, I even did a few more, before my ‘kitchen floor breaks’
However, as long as I was doing ‘one spoon’ at a time, I was moving in the direction I needed to go
I got through the dishes that day
In the same way that I got through that week
And the months to come
‘One spoon at a time’
Its also how I’ve built everything, SINCE then
The nursing career with big national government contracts & award nominations for my work
The speaking career, and the speaking award nominations
The rental property company
What I’ve created here now, where I get to work with top female leaders around the globe, helping them to step into their FULLEST leadership capacity, create the impact they’re here for, and call in the results
Even, my kids going to their private ‘$50K’ per year schools
ALL OF IT… was created ‘one spoon at a time’
Many people would’ve taken one look at me, and not held much hope for my future. I was spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically broken
But I learnt to find the hope within myself
And every day, take the steps in the direction of that
Wherever you’re at on YOUR journey, I hope you hear something in this that encourages you in your faith in yourself and your ability to rise above ANYTHING to create your dreams
REGARDLESS of where you’re at
Every step of the way, I DEVELOPED WITHIN MYSELF the knowingness, resourcefulness, skills, conviction, abilities that have me BE unstoppable today, and create ‘whatever’ it is that I choose
so the questions to ask yourself are….
What level are YOU claiming for yourself?
Who do YOU choose to know yourself as?
I CLAIMED this every day, and ‘unstoppably’ and ‘uncompromisingly’ I claimed it through BELIEF and ACTION, one spoon at a time
every – single – day
some days, those spoons were bigger than others
…..and as time went on, I could deal with spoons that required more and more internal courage and boldness
“SAY YES TO THIS BIG VISION KATE”
The actual ‘spoon’ then in THAT moment…. that would start the ball rolling towards the vision.. .that would put skin in the game and create my real life commitment towards that big vision, was (and only ever is, small things)
– ‘send the email’
– ‘make the phone call’
– commit by ‘paying for the thing’
– ‘take the small action’ regardless of how scary my mind tells me it is!
“do the thing”
Everyday, in every-way, I broke those BIG things down, into the daily spoons.. and then…
SPOON, after SPOON, after SPOON…
I did it
every damn day
I SPOON FED MY OWN DREAMS INTO REALITY
See, many people look at their big dreams and they go “oh, too big, too far away.. I need to be reasonable here
(And contract back to what they know)
Forgetting that it IS the daily spoons that move you FORWARD into creating those dreams
BUT what gets in the way of LEGIT taking action on the spoons IS the fear, self doubt and ‘stories’ which pump the brakes
I’ve learnt to DO THE SPOONS EVERY DAY REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE FEAR SAYS
And everyday, those spoons add up, and up and up